Joshua Bell may not be a name familiar to many of you. He and his two sisters grew up on a farm in Bloomington, Indiana. Although he was a fairly good athlete, especially when it came to tennis, his true gift was music. When he was four years old, his parents noticed him plucking tunes on rubber bands that he had stretched around the handles of his dresser drawers. They bought him a violin. By the time he was 12 he was widely recognized as a prodigy.
Today, Bell routinely packs out concert halls around the world and has recorded more than 30 cd’s of what many regard as the best in classical music.
But in 2007, the Washington Post newspaper decided to conduct an experiment in what they called “an unblinking assessment of public taste” (Gene Weingarten, “Pearls before Breakfast,” Washington Post, Sunday, April 8, 2007; page W10, http://www.washingtonpost.com/wpdyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html (accessed 24 February 2009).
It happened in a Washington, D.C. Metro subway station during rush hour. I wasn’t there, and I doubt if you were either, but you can view the entire thing on You Tube. Just type in Stop and Hear the Music.
Bell, wearing a baseball cap and blue jeans, played a brilliant classical repertoire for 45 minutes. It’s important that you understand that Bell is routinely paid an astronomical sum of money to play in the most prestigious concert halls worldwide. But here he was playing in a subway station with his violin case on the ground in front of him, to see who if any would reward his efforts with some loose change.
1,070 people passed by during the course of the 45 minute concert. 27 paused briefly to listen. And only 7 people put money in the violin case. Bell collected a total of $32.17 for his performance. Another thing that no one bothered to notice is that he was playing a Stradivarius violin made in 1713 that is reportedly worth $3.5 million!
Of those 7 who donated some money, among the 27 who paused momentarily to listen, among the 1,070 who passed by during rush hour, only 1 young lady recognized Bell and waited until he had finished to acknowledge who he was and to thank him for his performance.
Why am I telling you this remarkable story? I suppose there are a number of reasons I could cite, but more than anything else this incident tells us a lot about human nature. We see here how easy it is to overlook and pass by something of remarkable value and importance, without so much as a blink of an eye.
If the 1,070 who walked past Bell had later been stopped and asked why, I imagine they would have given all sorts of excuses, such as, “Well, I had other things on my mind,” or “I was late for work and was afraid I might miss my train,” or “I’m so accustomed to these musicians playing in the subway for money that I’ve trained myself not to notice them,” or “I was so preoccupied with thoughts about what I needed to do once I got to work that I never even heard the music,” or who knows what other excuses people might have made.
So now let me come straight to the point. This is a perfect illustration of how the church is supposed to be different from the world. I said “supposed to be,” but all too often is just like the world.
How often do you simply ignore the people around you, especially the ones you don’t know? I’m not suggesting that everyone at your local church is a musical talent comparable to Joshua Bell, but that doesn’t make them any less valuable or of any less importance. In fact, precisely because they are men and women created in the image of God and redeemed by the blood of Christ, they are of indescribable worth!
We’re not surprised if the world at large is so preoccupied with life and distracted by other things that they fail to notice someone of profound importance. But it ought never to be that way in the church. Ever!
Is it your custom your local church simply to walk past someone you don’t know by name, because it feels uncomfortable to engage them or you’re worried it might lead to a time commitment that you aren’t willing to make? When you sit down do you pretend to be in prayer, or so fixated on something in Scripture that you ignore the person sitting next to you? Are you afraid of stepping outside your comfort zone and speaking a word of encouragement to someone whose name you can barely remember?
The church of Jesus Christ cannot afford to be like the people in that D.C. subway station. We cannot afford to become so absorbed in our own little world that we fail to recognize the beauty of what is right in front of us and the value and dignity of another soul. We cannot afford to overlook or turn a deaf ear to the potential that exists in every human heart.
One young lady out of 1,070 not only stopped to listen, but recognized who was playing, and had the courage to engage him in conversation, thanking him for his remarkable gift. It ought not to be that way in the church, among those who claim to be members of the body of Christ.
Don’t let the distractions of this world and the rush of life blind you to the significance of the people with whom God has united you here at Bridgeway. Don’t treat that man or woman across the room on a Sunday morning or even at a house church gathering as if they were anonymous and unimportant and too much of a bother.
So, what does all this have to do with 1 Peter 3:8? Simply this: Peter is telling us here what our responsibility is toward one another in the local church. Up until now in 1 Peter he has been speaking to several distinct and particular groups of people: slaves, wives, husbands. But now he addresses everyone. “Finally,” he writes, “all of you . . .”
The issue here is not how to relate to civil authorities, or masters, or unbelieving husbands, or wives. The issue here is how to relate to each other in our life together as Christians.
Although we read vv. 8-12, our focus is v. 8.
There are dozens of things that Peter might have said to us about our responsibility toward one another. In fact, we could put together a lengthy list from the entirety of the NT that outlines all the so-called “one-anothering” responsibilities of Christians. But Peter here focuses on only five. Don’t get the idea that he is talking here merely about actions or deeds. Yes, that is involved. But clearly he also has in view our attitudes, our affections toward one another. He’s talking about what goes on inside us, not simply outside.
And virtually everything he tells us to do is utterly contrary to human nature. Without the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit and the life that we were granted when we were born again, none of this would work. It would all reduce to rank hypocrisy as we put on a face and say the right words but don’t really mean anything we say or do.
Now, one more thing before we look at v. 8. I know many of you have had some really rotten experiences with the local church. Me too. But try to envision yourself in a church characterized by the opposite of each of the five things Peter mentions in v. 8. In other words, the reason why Peter focuses on these particular elements of Christian community is because he knows how devastating it would be if the church were characterized by the antithesis to each of these. So consider:
A church that instead of unity of mind is riddled with disunity and the confusion that it brings . . .
A church that instead of sympathy is filled with people who quite literally couldn’t care less how others feel . . .
A church known not for brotherly love but selfish disregard for others and their struggles and their significance . . .
A church that is filled with people who are cold-hearted and calloused when it comes to other people, utterly insensitive to their pain and their disappointment and their needs . . .
A church so puffed up with its own importance and people so arrogant and prideful that instead of compassion there is competition and instead of generosity there is greed and instead of preferring others there is only preference for oneself.
Is that the sort of church to which you would be drawn or that would hold forth any appeal to the spiritually hungry in our world? I doubt it.
Five Features of Christian Community
(1) The first thing he mentions is “unity of mind”.
Other translations render this, be "harmonious," that is, have a common mindset, not necessarily all the same tastes or gifts or habits, but the same thoughts and assessments of the essentials of life: God, salvation, virtue.
Peter doesn’t mean we all have to dress the same way or like the same food or cheer for the same football team or drive the same model of car or enjoy the same hobbies.
Rather, he is talking about sharing the same spiritual values, recognizing and contending for the same theological truths, proclaiming the same gospel, and most important of all, being devoted to and passionate about the same Christ and his supremacy and glory.
Interestingly, this is the only place this word appears in the NT, but the idea is also found in Romans 15:5-7; 1 Corinthians 1:10; 2 Corinthians 13:11; Philippians 2:1-2; 4:2. We tend to idealize the early church and speak often of a restoration of its life and values. But let’s be realistic. If they weren’t as prone as we are to division and rivalry, there would have been no need for the repeated exhortation to be harmonious and unified and of one mind!
Problem: there are some people in this room that you don’t even like, much less agree with.
In 2 Cor. 13:11 Paul exhorts them to “agree with one another.” Be like-minded! Think the same thing! Don’t settle for agreeing to disagree (cf. Phil. 4:2; cf. also Rom. 12:16; 1 Cor. 1:10). “Modern evangelicals who share a common allegiance to the Scriptures,” notes Carson, “would do well to foster this sort of attempt to come to one mind and thought as to what the Scriptures mean. Too many of us are so threatened by our fellow believers or are so bound up with our denominational distinctives, that we are afraid to be reformed by the word of God or too proud to be corrected by those with whom we disagree. The apostle expects us to work at the business of being of one mind” (184-85).
This does not mean, of course, that community life is impossible unless we all agree on eschatology or that our witness for Christ will be forever ineffective until we achieve a consensus on every secondary doctrine. But it does mean that we must strive for unity on the essential truths of the faith and that our common vision as a church and our commitment to the gospel must never be compromised.
Is this really possible given the vast array of differing opinions on seemingly countless issues? No, if you think Peter is asking us to agree on every secondary doctrine of the Christian faith, it isn’t possible. But that isn’t what he has in mind.
Unity on the gospel / foundational matters (as in our Statement of Faith) / mission and ministry values of the church, etc.
This exhortation is not designed to stifle dialogue or interaction or challenging one another or always being open to hearing new evidence that may run against our long-held and cherished views.
(2) Second on Peter’s list is “sympathy”.
Next, all of you be "sympathetic," that is, feel what others feel so that you can respond with sensitivity to the need. See 1 Cor. 12:26.
This is fascinating, the fact that Peter would command us to “feel” something! How do you do that? You can’t just say one day, “Hey, I think I’ll decide to feel sympathetic today.” It doesn’t work that way. The only way you can experience genuine, heartfelt, sincere sympathy is by entering into another person’s life. You have to know them. You have to spend time with them. You have to see and understand what they are experiencing and grow in your love for them to such a degree that it begins to matter to you whether or not they are in pain or are suffering profound disappointment or are disillusioned.
You don’t walk up to a virtual stranger who is hurting, perhaps weeping, contort your face as if you are hurting too and say: “I know how you feel.” The fact is, you probably have no idea how they feel because you know virtually nothing about them.
True spiritual sympathy doesn’t spring up spontaneously whenever you want it to. It grows and develops gradually from shared experiences in community.
Consider Ann and me and our sympathy for single moms . . . . We used to glibly say to single moms, “We know how you feel.” It was a lie. No we didn’t. Not until we walked through the experience with our own daughter, day in and day out over time, intimately involved in the struggles and frustrations and exhaustion and often feelings of hopelessness that it brings.
The point Peter is making is that we must not only be of one theological mind with each other but also emotionally intertwined with one another.
Finally, when you think that you’ve run dry of sympathy and comfort or that it is too demanding or that you’d be happy to comfort others if only they’d comfort you first, recall that God is the “Father of mercies and God of all comfort” and that he will comfort you in all your anguish so that you “may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction” with the very comfort with which you are comforted by God (see 2 Cor. 1:3-4).
(3) The third thing Peter mentions is the importance of “brotherly love.”
This, of course, is the translation of the Greek word philadelphia. Be "brotherly" and “sisterly,” if there is such a word. That is, don't view each other as strangers, or as mere acquaintances, or as distant relatives. View each other as close family. Family can have some pretty serious squabbles and exchange some very harsh words, but only in the rarest cases does the family break up over it.
The point is that the key to all our relationships and interactions and dealings with one another, as well as our attitudes and words is the fact that we are all children of the same heavenly Father. Cf. 1 Peter 1:22; 2:17.
The failure of the Church to love its own is an ugly blemish on the public face of Christianity. All of us have seen it, and many have felt its pain.
But the Bible does provide answers/solutions for us. One of the many strengths of Scripture is its refusal to sugar-coat the relational dysfunction among its more prominent characters. There’s no better example of this in the NT than what we see in Paul’s relationship to the Corinthians. It is a perfect example of brotherly love at work.
That there was a palpable tension between them is evident from Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 6:11-13. Paul writes:
“We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also” (2 Cor. 6:11-13).
Most of us have, at one time or another, been on both sides of this sort of dispute. Like the Corinthians, you may have developed a lack of trust for leadership in the church. Fueled by gossip and misinformation, you may have grown to doubt their sincerity or their honesty. Perhaps you view them as power hungry and insensitive to the needs of others. One of your friends or family members may have been hurt by excessive authority or unjustly removed from a place of ministry. As a result, there is little room left for them in your heart.
On the other hand, you, like Paul, may have been the object of unwarranted criticism. Notwithstanding your best efforts and most sacrificial labors, people misinterpret your motives and impugn your character. You may wonder, “After all I’ve done and everything I’ve given, you’d think they’d give me the benefit of the doubt.”
Regardless of which side of the fence you’re on, it hurts. You expect Christians to live by a higher standard. You’re shocked when their behavior differs little from what you encounter in the world at large. When your best efforts to put things right come up short, it seems only reasonable to withdraw, shut down your heart, elevate your guard, and wait for them to make the first move.
The fact that Paul’s frank speech is an accurate and utterly honest expression of his intentions and beliefs and desires is indicated by the second phrase, “our heart is wide open.” Jesus declared that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Mt. 12:34), and Paul hopes the Corinthians will hear his words and thereby feel the pulse of his soul. He knows they are still suspicious of him. He knows they harbor ill will. He knows they doubt his sincerity. He knows they are afraid of entrusting themselves to him. Yet this is no hindrance to his complete openness.
The phrase, “we have spoken freely to you”, is literally “our mouth is open toward you,” a graphic and pointed way of describing utterly unrestrained, vulnerable, frank speech. Paul here is uninhibited and free in expressing his affections.
You may think that for brotherly love to flourish in a church that we have to hide our true feelings and not express verbally the depths of our pain and hurt and pretend that all is well. Paul’s language in this verse says the opposite!
Paul knew they thought he loved them little (cf. 2 Cor. 11:11). Thus when he says “you are not restricted by us” he means, in effect, “you enjoy the fullest devotion possible,” or “we love you with unbridled affection,” or more literally, “I have not allowed you to be squeezed out of my heart.”
I’m encouraged by how forthright the apostle is with the people of this church. He refuses to skirt around the issue or pretend that it is less painful than it is. In this case, Paul is convinced that the problem is not that he lacks affection for them but that they have shut their hearts toward him. “You are restricted in your own affections,” he says. The word translated “affections” is a graphic one in Greek (splanchna), referring to the inward parts, the viscera or entrails, if you will. It is obviously a metaphor for the emotions or feelings or deep affections. It is a word very close in form to the one translated “tender hearted” here in 1 Peter 3:8.
Paul unashamedly declares that they have failed to reciprocate his love. His feelings for them are honest and sincere and passionate. He has not closed himself to their needs or their pain. But they in turn have not returned the favor. If he is open, they are closed.
Notice that true brotherly love entails an urgent and heartfelt appeal to them. In return for opening his heart to them he pleads that they will open theirs to him. “In medical terms,” notes Harris, “an enlarged heart is a dangerous liability; in spiritual terms, an enlarged heart is a productive asset” (490).
Does it always work? Sadly, no. There will always be people in the church who, in a perverse sort of way, derive pleasure and sinful satisfaction from the alienation they have both caused and continue to perpetuate. Often their identity is wrapped up in the offense they carry. For others, to release it and reconcile requires a vulnerability they are not yet willing to embrace.
But their weakness is no excuse for our reluctance. Paul, it seems clear to me, was determined to obey his own command, painful though it be: “Repay no one evil for evil,” he wrote to the Roman church, “but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Rom. 12:17-18). That’s not easy to do, but the alternative is simply not an option for the one who says he “loves God” (1 John 4:21).
(4) Fourth, cultivate a “tender heart.”
This is not a word about conduct but about your insides, literally, your belly, your spiritual guts. The literal translation of the Greek here means "feel generous in the depths of your being.” It's exactly the opposite of hypocrisy that acts tenderly and feels malice.
I find it difficult to locate a middle ground here, and maybe I’m not supposed to. But all too often I either feel hardened and calloused because of someone’s sin and rebellion or so tender and kind that I forfeit discernment and wisdom.
How do you develop a tender heart toward others, especially when they are mean and nasty and seem always to return your love and good intentions with neglect and utter disregard?
There’s only one answer: meditate deeply and at length on the extent and majesty and height and depths of the tender-hearted kindness and love of God in Christ for sinners like you and me! The hard-hearted person is the man or woman who has yet to come to grips with the ugliness of their own sin and the beauty of God’s forgiving grace in Christ!
(5) Fifth and finally, have “a humble mind” (same word is used in Col. 3:12).
So just how important is it that all of us strive in the grace of God to cultivate and develop a humble mind? Let me answer that by describing for you what a church devoid of humble minds would look like. All you have to do is define or describe proud minds and then allow your imagination to run wild.
First of all, the proud person is a theological know-it-all who can’t be taught. He’s simply not open to instruction from others. His “show” of interest in what is said by others is just that, a show, a public performance. If he offers an interested response it is often patronizing at best. He or she is unteachable and uncorrectable. The proud heart says, “I’ve arrived. I’ve already been where these other people are only now beginning to go. I’m here to show them how it’s done. They’re mere babes. I’m an adult.”
Pride also shows itself in a quickness to judge and to speak cynically of the sins and shortcomings of others, often with levity or flippancy. The humble Christian will either be silent about the sins of others or speak of them with grief, pity, and a “There, but for the grace of God, go I.”
The prideful person is obsessed with comparisons, always measuring himself/herself against others. The proud person finds his identity in relation to someone he thinks of as lesser (which encompasses just about everyone). The humble person finds his identity in relation to someone he knows is greater: Jesus!
Pride invariably leads to inflexibility. After all, if you consider yourself an expert and others as mere rookies, what need is there for you to change? The humble person is pliable and flexible, except where sin or duty are in view.
Pride leads to separatism: “If I’m a notch above these others, fellowshipping with them will only drag me down. They are beneath my dignity and unworthy of my time.” The truly humble person cherishes unity.
The proud person is self-defensive, especially when it is suggested he might be proud! When persecuted or crossed or slandered or attacked, the proud person is angrily defensive of his actions and largely oblivious to all personal failures.
One essential element in humility is the willingness to allow others to say about me the very things I readily acknowledge before God. Humility is living in accordance with the abilities God has given us, neither as if we had more nor less; neither pressing ourselves into situations we are not equipped to handle (for fear that if we don’t people will lose respect for us), nor shying away from those we can.
The key to “humility” is a healthy acknowledgement of and submission to the sovereign grace of God. In 1 Cor. 4:7, Paul writes: “For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” Humility should always be in direct proportion to one’s grasp of grace. Pride is the fruit of the lie that what I have I didn’t receive. Humility is the fruit of the truth that everything is of God (see also John 3:22-30, esp. vv. 27 and 30).
Peter is saying that to be a good Christian, filled with humility, you must despise yourself or walk around in self-contempt or in denial of the gifts and talents that God has given you. He’s talking about the willingness to take the lower place, to make the necessary sacrifices, and to put the interests of others ahead of your own. That’s humility!
Now here’s the clincher: It is highly unlikely, if not utterly impossible, for you to properly respond to these exhortations if you are not personally and deeply involved in a house church and a d-group! You can’t do this in the way Peter envisioned merely by showing up here on a Sunday morning.
We can imagine saying, "But Peter that's not the way I am. You're asking me to be something I'm not. You’re asking for the impossible. I don’t even like these people!"
I believe Peter would respond by reminding you of what he’s already said in this epistle: if you are born again, if the Spirit of God really dwells in you, if you are the children of God by adoption, if Christ is now your treasure, and God is your hope, then the seed of all these traits is in you, and they will flourish if you go on trusting in God's grace.
But even then, you can’t develop these characteristics of heart and life in isolation from other Christians. God never intended you to.
Describe dynamics of small group life and how the accountability and challenges and prayers and love and support all converge with the help of the Spirit to sow the seeds of each of these five virtues.
Conclusion
Return with me to that Washington, D.C., subway station. We cannot afford to hurry through life or pretend that we are the church and ignore the people around us. There is something infinitely more beautiful in the souls of other Christians than you will ever find in the music of a virtuoso playing a $3.5 million Stradivarius.